Highlights of Chapter 8
First to Throw a Stone
He who is without sin among you, let him be the first to throw a stone.
—John 8:7
The main principle in this chapter is based on the fact that none of us is without sin that we should be the one to cast the first stone at anyone since we have been given forgiveness with the Lord’s blood shed for all who are born again.
How foolish and dangerous when we judge our daughter's immoral behavior, or our son’s weakness to pornography? Who among us has not sinned that we should cast the first stone at anyone? If we were judged for our sins, all of us would end up in hell where we truly belong. “If anyone hears My sayings and does not keep them, I do not judge him; for I did not come to judge the world, but to save the world” (John 12:47)...........................................
Though sinners, Jesus died and took the blame, nailing our sins, and the sins of all the world—including your husband’s, son’s, daughter’s, neighbor’s and boss’ sins. Rather than judge another, let us each remember what Jesus did for us and grant that person our forgiveness in the same way Jesus forgave and continues to forgive us! “But Jesus was saying, ‘Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing’ And they cast lots, dividing up His garments among themselves” (Luke 23:34).
This parable clearly tells us what the outcome will be when our hearts are unwilling to forgive anyone for anything. Jesus explains it this way in Matthew 18:23-35 NIV.
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Adultery: Grounds for Divorce? or Opportunity for Forgiveness?
Should adultery or other immorality be forgiven?
Yes. Jesus said to the woman caught in adultery: “Did no one condemn you? . . . Neither do I condemn you; go your way. From now on sin no more” (John 8:10–11). Actually, not only is adultery not grounds for divorce, it is grounds for forgiveness, as Jesus showed in John 8:10 “Neither do I condemn you.”
We also have an example of a spouse forgiving adultery in Hosea 3:1. “Then the Lord said to me, ‘Go again, love a woman who is loved by her husband, yet an adulteress.’” Then in 1 Corinthians 6:9–11, when God refers to adulterers and fornicators, He says: “And such were some of you; but you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, and in the Spirit of our God.” Adultery, and every other sin, can be washed in His blood of forgiveness.
“He who conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will find compassion” (Prov. 28:13).
Should my husband’s adultery be forgiven? Should my son’s pornography be forgiven? Should my daughter’s sleeping around be forgiven?
What did Jesus do? Jesus said to the woman caught in adultery, “Did no one condemn you? . . . Neither do I condemn you; go your way. From now on, sin no more” (John 8:10–11).
But you don’t understand— he (or she) is a “repeat offender”!
What did Jesus say when Peter asked how many times he should forgive his brother who sinned against him. “Seven times?” he suggested. But Jesus replied, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.” That’s 490 times! (See Matt. 18:22.) Too often when women have husbands who are repeat offenders (like mine was), a pastor or counselor convinces the women not to forgive or it will encourage him to continue; however, this is simply not scriptural.
It was the love and compassion that the harlots and other sinners felt from Jesus that turned their heart to the point that they were able, and willing, to turn away from the sin that had them bound. The same is true for your loved one.
Are you without sin, that you should cast the first stone? Jesus also said to the people who wanted this adulterous woman punished, “He who is without sin among you, cast the first stone” (John 8:7).
But I never did anything that sinful! Let me show you that God groups your sins along with the one you are disgusted with. See how God sees your sin: “Now the deeds of the flesh are evident, which are: (his or hers?) immorality, impurity, sensuality . . . drunkenness, carousing, (now yours?) strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, disputes, dissensions, envying” (Gal. 5:19–20). Sin is sin, plain and simple. Sin separates us from fellowship with God, and so does not forgiving.
Anger and contentiousness or condemnation keeps the person you claim to love bound or tied to sin. Free them with the love that never fails!
And if I don’t forgive? What are the grave consequences when you choose to not forgive? “But if you do not forgive men for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will not forgive your transgression” (Matt. 6:15). This is a pretty hefty punishment for those who choose to withhold forgiveness.
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“Don’t be overcome with evil, but overcome evil with good.” God specifically asked His prophet Hosea to remarry his wife Gomer, even after she was blatantly unfaithful to him. Hosea 2:2 says, “For she is not my wife, and I am not her husband . . .” Then in verse 7, “Then she will say, ‘I will go back to my first husband, for it was better for me then than now.’” Later in verse 3:1, “Then the Lord said to me (Hosea), ‘Go again, love a woman who is loved by her husband, yet an adulteress.’” God used the story of Hosea and Gomer to show His commitment to His own bride, the church (see the book of Hosea).
God tells us that we need to go beyond forgiveness and even reaffirm our love to those who most would say are unworthy of our love. It says, “forgive and comfort him, lest somehow such a one be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. Wherefore I urge you to reaffirm your love for him” (2 Cor. 2:6). This is not what you hear from your Christian friends or from your Christian counselor, and more than likely if you showed them this verse, they would use some sort of psychology tactic that if you do so you would enable him to continue to sin, or some other such nonsense. God’s Word is the only truth, therefore, if you do what is contrary you will only reap continued heartache and troubles.
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God may bring on His wrath—don’t you do it! “.....For on account of these things the wrath of God will come” (Col. 3:5–6). “For we know Him who said, ‘Vengeance is mine, I will repay,’ and again, ‘The Lord will judge His people.’ It is a terrifying thing to fall into the hands of the living God.” (Heb. 10:30–31). If you haven’t truly forgiven your husband or son or daughter, then you may be joyful when the “wrath from God” begins. However, God warns us: “Do not rejoice when your enemy falls, and do not let your heart be glad when he stumbles; or the Lord will see it and be displeased, and turn His anger away from him” (Prov. 24:17–18).
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.............................................Seducing is very different from alluring. Kind and loving words are alluring. Forgiveness is alluring. Someone who is at peace is alluring. “Therefore, behold, I will allure her, bring her into the wilderness, and speak kindly to her” (Hos. 2:14).
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The other way to tell if what you do or how you react is to see if this is the same way the world would respond. A woman who is an unbeliever would certainly order her husband out of her bed or out of her house if he were in adultery. “And if you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them” (Luke 6:32).
When a sinner or anyone who was “unclean” came to Jesus, He always responded kindly and even touched them. He says that anyone who comes to Him, He will in no way cast out! (See John 6:37.) No matter how often a sinner comes to the Lord, He always accepts him back even though He knows that he will soon reject Him again. So, the question is, are you an imitator of Jesus who showed us how to live?
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Divorce means no intimacy with your former husband; the verses in 1 Corinthians 7:2–5 clearly covers those who are still legally married.
God will reward your desire for purity and devotion to Him and His Word in the very same way that He will reward your daughter or the other young women in your life whom you have encouraged to also remain pure.