Highlights from Chapter 15

Woman Unloved

 

“Under three things the earth quakes,         

And under four, it cannot bear up…

Under an unloved woman when she gets a husband”

—Proverbs 30:21, 23

 

The Bible tells us in this verse, and in the story of the wives of Jacob, that our feeling unloved negatively affects those around us, so much so, that this verse says it causes the earth to quake and not be able to bear! Wow, take just a moment and think of all those dear people who have tried to make you feel loved.

“Now the LORD saw that Leah was unloved, and He opened her womb, but Rachel was barren” (Gen. 29:31).

“Then she conceived again and bore a son and said, ‘Because the LORD has heard that I am unloved, He has therefore given me this son also.’ So she named him Simeon” (Gen. 29:33).

There is no one who understands more of feeling unloved than a woman like me. My first husband walked out, saying he had made a mistake and wasn’t cut out for marriage, when we were married just one month! Even after I found out I was pregnant, which many women use (unsuccessfully) to try to get their man back, my husband wasn’t the least bit interested in either of us. (And for the record, that is not why I became pregnant, though I am not above anything like that.)

Then, when my son was about ten months, I met a man who seemed to love my son like his own, and told me he loved me! Unfortunately, he, like most of us, was not interested in giving love, but was desperate at finding and getting love. Many of the couples you see today who go from marriage to marriage, or lover to lover, are desperately seeking the love they didn’t get as a child. ......................................................................................

Anyone who has had an unfaithful husband knows that there is no better way to feel unloved and worthless than having a husband who finds himself another woman!

Yet, the ultimate rejection is when you stick by your man, do all you can to win him back (with love and without a word), only for him to walk in and tell you he is leaving and filing for divorce, once more, but this time so he can find someone else to marry. The only thing that can top it, is when you find out that he has been seeing that woman longer than you care to know.

Though it appears that you and I are unloved, we are passionately loved by the Creator and Author of love! 

Though we have someone who is right now on bended knee proposing eternal love and faithfulness to us, we choose to run after someone who never could love us the way we want to be loved, or the way we were meant to be loved, and who will more than likely leave us if someone better comes along!

I am convinced that when each of us finds and embraces the love that comes from our Beloved, Jesus, to the point that He becomes all we want and all we need, that we will no longer see the kind of abuse and rejection that results in obsessive behavior, some that actually results in death: by suicide or murder.

After years of experiencing rejection first hand, I know that the only cure or immunity to it is to have the full measure of God’s love that comes from seeking Him above all, instead of anyone else.

Unfortunately, just like any obsession or addiction, it is easy to fall into the trap of feeding our flesh with things that are temporary and require us to always need more. The need for love is just as consuming and destructive as a drug or alcohol addiction, and the world is seeing this in our world today.

“They looked to Him and were radiant, and their faces will never be ashamed” (Ps. 34:5).

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While you are working on your intimacy with the Lord, give what you have left to others. When we are deeply hurt from rejection, we need to focus on the fact that there are so many poor souls who are worse off than we are. When we take the energy that we usually use to beg someone to help or pay attention to us, and instead, give it to someone who is also in need, we will find ourselves being healed from the inside out!

Simply take everything to the One who truly cares and loves you beyond anything you thought was possible. After being rejected, I know that there is true joy in a deeply intimate relationship with the Lord as your Husband like nothing you have ever longed for or sung about. Just give it a try.