Sober Spirit

......sisters, if another believer is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path. And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself.”Galatians 6:1

God is more than able to make anyone, even you, willing to do what He wants—just give it to God and watch Him work on your behalf.

The king’s heart is like channels of water in the hand of the Lord;He turns it wherever He wishes. Proverbs 21:1

You need to put God first in your life; He never wants to be second place to anything or anyone. Once He is first, you will begin to be transformed into His image. That is when you will begin to see that heart of stone of your loved one turning. 

I pray that we can see clearly how to really help our spouse, children, parents, or friends. We must begin to see this person as God sees them. Remove the hate or hurt before speaking to them. Stop looking at what "wrong" the other person is doing. Trust and believe that God is able and wants to restore and rebuild our relationship with family and remove the drug habit from his/her life.

“And why do you look at the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ and behold, the log is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye” (Matt. 7:3, Luke 6:41). 

Do not ever encourage your spouse or children to leave. Many wives and mothers are quick to suggest divorce or moving out in times of anger/frustration. When you plant bad seeds, don’t be surprised when your spouse ends up moving out and falling into adultery or continuing the drug use, or children get themselves into trouble with the law etc.

“But I tell you that every careless word that people speak, they shall give an accounting for it in the day of judgment” (Matt. 12:36). 

Words have more power than we realize. If there are problems like alcohol, drugs, rebellion, or pornography, don’t add adultery to the list.  Even if you wanted them to leave because of the alcohol/drugs, separation is the first step toward divorce, and divorce can be a life-changing mistake. Throwing a child out of your home is often encouraged by others but love is not tough, it is patient and kind. 

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 NIV

“And a woman who has [a believing or] an unbelieving husband, and he consents to live with her, let her not send her husband away.” (1 Cor. 7:13)

If your spouse or your child has left you or your home or has a drug or alcohol problem, you must stop pursuing, pleading, or even standing in his or her way. When someone wants to leave or do something, they will only try harder to get away from you or to run to evil when you try to block their way. 

“Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners . . .” (Ps. 1:1 NIV). 

Move on. You must let your spouse or children know that he or she is free to leave (based on 1 Cor. 7:15 and Ps. 1:1). This will often cause a spouse or child to stop running. When told by others, including your spouse, to “move on,” enthusiastically agree and eliminate the fighting that will occur the more disagreeable you are. By “moving on” (with the Lord), your life will change. This is also true for a mother who has a wayward child. Move on with more and more intimacy with the Lord and let go of your obsession with this relationship. Give your spouse, child, or friend to God and trust that He will work all things out for good. Every time that you do have contact with them, make sure it is pleasant. Stand back with your heart hidden in the Lord and treat him or her the way you would want to be treated, with love and kindness, without pursuing or even trying to help (unless you are asked).

No situation is too far gone. Remember that it is not true that you and this other person, together, must want this change, or that you need to seek help to change. 

“With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible” (Matt. 19:26).  

Quick solutions may seem like the easiest road, but when you choose to give up and get a divorce or throw your rebellious child out of your home, they are nothing but foolishness because it always makes the situation worse. Once you act in response to emotions, you have chosen the road to even more sadness, trials, difficulties, and heartache than you are now experiencing. 

“Enter through the narrow gate; for the gate is wide and the way is broad that leads to destruction, and there are many who enter through it. For the gate is small and the way is narrow that leads to life, and there are few who find it” (Matt. 7:13–14). 

Show me the right path, O Lord; point out the road for me to follow. Lead me by your truth and teach me, for you are the God who saves me. All day long I put my hope in you.  (Psalm 25:4-5)

You must look for that narrow way in all your decisions, in the way you speak to others, and in the way you handle the trials that will come your way now and in the future.

Speak kindly and lovingly to your loved one when you have an opportunity to talk with him or her. 

“Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones” (Prov. 16:24). 

“A joyful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit dries up the bones” (Prov. 17:22, Prov. 18:14). 

Emotions like self-pity or anger are of the flesh and will war against your spirit. God says: 

“For the flesh sets its desire against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; for these are in opposition to one another, so that you may not do the things that you please.”Galatians 5:17: 

The Bible warns us to fight this as a spiritual war! First Timothy 1:18 says to “fight the good fight.” 

“We do not war according to the flesh” (2 Cor. 10:3). 

We are told instead to “be of sober spirit" [which literally means wake up] 

“be on the alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour” (1 Pet. 5:8).

God has promised to heal, restore, and create praise on your lips.

“For perhaps he was for this reason parted from you for a while, that you should have him back forever, no longer as a slave [of sin], but more than a slave, a beloved brother, especially to me, but how much more to you, both in the flesh and in the Lord” (Philem. 1:15–16).