Highlights from Chapter 1
My Beloved
I thank God . . . as I constantly remember you in my prayers night and day, longing to see you,even as I recall your tears, so that I may be filled with joy.
—2 Timothy 1:3–4
God has heard your cry for help and He has come to help you and to bless you. The pages that follow will guide you, as He guided me when others said that many of my relationships were completely hopeless and unable to be made new.
The Bible says “the eyes of the Lord move to and fro throughout the earth that He may strongly support those whose heart is completely His” (2 Ch. 16:9). He has been looking for you, to help you.
Whether you need help in your marriage, with your children, your parents, your in-laws, your boss or your siblings—God is about to restore them to you! I pray blessings upon each and every one of you who are seeking the Lord alone for help.
God can restore each of the relationships that mean so much to you—you have His Word on it. “And Jesus answered and said to them, ‘Truly I say to you, if you have faith, and do not doubt, you shall not only do what was done . . . but even if you say to this mountain, “Be taken up and cast into the sea,” it shall happen’” (Matt. 21:21).
Have you left or asked your husband to leave, or has a divorce been spoken of or filed? Has your son or your daughter rejected you, or is he or she no longer on speaking terms with you? Is your relationship with your parents or in-laws beyond hope? No matter what has transpired thus far, you must believe that “all things work together for good to those who love God and are called according to His purpose” (see Rom. 8:28). This is an awesome and powerful promise that you must believe and embrace.
His purpose is for you to draw closer to the Lord and to take Him as your Best Friend, allowing Him to transform you more closely into His image. And take courage, for God has said, “I will never leave you, nor forsake you” (Heb. 13:5). God has not left your side, no matter how alone you feel, “Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for Thou art with me” (Ps. 23:4 KJV).
I’m sure that the “valley of the shadow of death” describes how you feel about your life right now, but God has allowed this for your good. You must believe this truth and look for every bit of good that is happening, right now, in the midst of your trials.
Only after this trial will you shine forth as gold. “In this you greatly rejoice, even though for a little while, if necessary, you have been distressed by various trials, that the proof of your faith, being more precious than gold (which is perishable) even though tested by fire, may be found to result in praise, glory and honor” (1 Pet. 1:6–7).
The most important thing for you to do right now is “Be still and know that I am God . . .” (Ps. 46:10). Then follow God’s way. Make sure that everything that you do or say follows the Scriptures; be sure that it follows the Bible consistently.
It’s the enemy who is interested in destroying every relationship that is important to you. Never forget that “the thief [the enemy] comes to steal, to kill, and destroy; I came [Jesus came] that they [you] might have life, and might have it abundantly” (John 10:10). Don’t believe the enemy’s lie that your situation is hopeless, but “take every thought captive” (2 Cor. 10:5). Instead of believing a lie, believe God and let the truth set you free from all your fears!
Don’t allow the enemy to steal from you. Don’t allow him to destroy your family, your life, and your children or steal your future. Claim this. “A thousand may fall at your side, and ten thousand at your right hand, but it shall not approach you” (Ps. 91:7).
Pore over the Bible, letting your Beloved, Jesus, “wash you with the water of the Word” (Eph. 5:26). Pray and believe what Scripture says, not what you see, since “faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen” (Heb. 11:1). “And without faith it is impossible to please God . . .” (Heb. 11:6).
No one but God knows exactly what you are going through or the answers you need right now. If you pray (simply talk to God) and listen to Him (read His Word, the Bible), He can lead you through to the victory that He has waiting for you. Be very careful when choosing to follow what others may say, including those of the world, friends in the church, pastors, or any counselor who tells you something he has heard or read that is not firmly stated in the Word of God. If you are praying and reading God’s Word, God will speak to you first, in your heart or during your Bible reading, then someone will confirm the direction in which He is guiding you, which will be consistent with His Word!
Don’t act impulsively or be quick to move. God usually says, “Wait!” Then, many times during the wait, He changes the situation. God said that He is the “Wonderful and Mighty Counselor” (Isa. 9:6). Don’t you want the best? Wouldn’t you want a Counselor who knows the future—One who can actually turn the heart of your loved-one, boss, or whomever you are struggling with? There is only One who can show you the right direction. Trust Him and Him alone! And in regard to marriage counselors or the many books available, here is a sobering thought—there are actually more broken marriages in the church than there are in the world—so don’t follow any Christian, Christian counselor, or pastor who gives the world’s solutions instead of God’s in regard to your marriage or any relationship that you are interested in restoring.
If anyone has told you that your situation is hopeless, then start to praise the Lord—since hopeless situations are when God shows up; He actually allows these hopeless situations in our lives—so that He can show His powerful love toward us! “With people this is impossible but with God, all things are possible!” (Matt. 19:26).
Search His Word after you have prayed to find the answers you need. “Ask and it shall be given to you; seek and you shall find . . .” (Matt. 7:7 KJV) “But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all men generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him. But he must ask in faith without any doubting, for the one who doubts is like the surf of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind. For that man ought not to expect that he will receive anything from the Lord, being a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways” (James 1:5–8).
You must have faith! And where do you get faith? From Him! Ask Him for faith, since “all good things come from above” (James 1:17).
God’s Word, His Principles
Beloved, whether you know the Bible well or you have never read it before, the Bible alone must be your guide to restore your relationship: marriage, wayward child, coworker, neighbor, etc.
It is the same with many of you who have found their marriages and other relationships in shambles or those that have been completely destroyed. You will soon find, if you are not aware of it yet, that it is not just your husband (or that other person) who violated God’s principles. You may find, as I did, that you might have done a lot to contribute to the destruction, which is usually done out of ignorance. “My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge” (Hos. 4:6). Once you understand and accept this one principle, you will experience the first turning point in your relationship.
The Bible is filled with the spiritual laws of His creation. When God created the world, He not only made it with physical laws, like the law of gravity, but He created it with spiritual laws as well.
Just as violating the physical law of gravity will result in the consequences of us stumbling or an object falling, so will violating the principles in Scripture regarding each relationship result in that relationship falling.
Another amazing discovery is that the ways of the world are almost always opposite of the ways of God, and His Word. The way you have been dealing with your husband’s adultery, your son’s drinking or drugs, or the daughter who is sleeping around, is more than likely the very same way that anyone in the world would have dealt with them. What you will find, as I did, is that this is the exact opposite of the way that God intended trials to be dealt with in order to bring victory. “ . . . This is the victory that has overcome the world—our faith” (1 John 5:4).
When I began to follow God’s way, which was the opposite of the way everyone else was doing it, then I started to see each of my situations improve. The ways of the world always result in destruction, but the ways of God always bring about healing, restoration, and joy. “For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life” (Gal. 6:8).